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Title: Every Time I Watch You, My Mind Is Racing, And My Breath I Lose (I'm Hooked)
Rating: PG-13 (for language and sexuality)
Pairing: Josh Ramsay/Other
POV: Third Person (Josh centric)
Summary: Plus, okay, Josh is really horny, alright?
Disclaimer: I own nothing. This is fiction, nothing less, nothing more.
A/N: My long in the making Marianas Trench fic. Loosely based on the Halloween concert I went to, which featured Marianas Trench, The New Cities, Carly Rae Jepsen, and The Mission District. All you need to know is that Josh dressed up as Little Bo Peep. Hence the dress. A huge thank you for this goes out to [ profile] drowninginlethe for her prodding, beta-ing, and general MT-lovin' awesomeness. Also to the whole of my f-list, pretty much just for putting up with me. Love y'all <3 Title and cut-text belong to The New Cities ("Looks Minus Substance", specifically).

It was a good concert, all things considered. Josh thinks so, anyways. Even if he was in a fucking dress.

He's at their merch table now, signing for the unbelievably rowdy fans - by himself. Mike is off getting sung Happy Birthday by his wife via long distance phonecall, Matt is somewhere backstage, attempting to get into the pants of some (probably underage) girl with a name like Noel, or something, and Ian is lurking not-so-sneakily lurking Matt, because, as he put it, "Dude, lawsuit, Matthew, lawsuit." But really, Josh thinks Ian's probably just bored and a little lonely, not that he'd ever admit it.

So Josh is by himself, managing smiles when the girls squeal over his dress, oh my goody gosh, and signing at a pace specifically designed to move the fans along (Josh doesn't hate the fans - not at all. What Josh hates is signing in a damn dress, especially when the underneath is itchy and rubs his manly-parts awkwardly and the wig makes him look like a transvestite gone wrong).

And then he sees her.

She's somewhere in the middle of the line, not screaming or flailing or freaking out because Josh Ramsay is right there. She's just quietly smiling and waiting rather patiently for her two seconds with Marianas Trench's lead singer. She's beautiful.

And then he remembers that he's in a fucking dress.

He doesn't say a word, instead turning back to his signing as someone settles down next to him, in the empty chair to his right. He turns to find a moody and semi-sober David(fromTheMissionDistrict) sitting by his side (Josh has to refer to David(fromTheMissionDistrict) as David(fromTheMissionDistrict), because David(fromTheNewCities) doesn't appreciate being called for soundcheck for the wrong band. Besides, David(fromTheMissionDistrict) likes being called "David", and David(fromTheNewCities) likes being called "Dave", and it's highly confusing unless Josh puts it all around parenthesis in his head and remembers it, even though they don't look very alike. But Josh talks to a lot of people, okay, and keeping the Davids(fromTheMissionDistrict and fromTheNewCities, respectively) separate is just too much to ask).

"Up?" David(fromTheMissionDistrict) says, and Josh blinks at him for a moment, figuring it out. He translates it roughly as "What is up, Joshua?" and then mentally kicks himself for his ridiculous inner dialog.

"Nothin' much," he says easily, sliding another poster back to some girl, now complete with his messily scrawled signature at the bottom. "What's up with you?"

David(fromTheMissionDistrict) tilts backwards in his chair and sighs, a long, hard breath that Josh just knows means something is wrong. And when David(fromTheMissionDistrict) feels that something is wrong, he'll make everyone's life a living hell until it gets fixed.

"What?" Josh says, already uninterested in the answer as he turns back out towards the lineup. He can't see the girl anymore, even though she was right there like ten seconds ago, and, fuck, Josh is gonna wring David(fromTheMissionDistrict)'s neck if she left while he was preoccupying Josh.

"Matt, girl, underage," David(fromTheMissionDistrict) grunts out, and Josh snaps his head back, the sentence registering with him. "And Ian, stalking, god."

"Would her being with you make it any less illegal?" Josh asks, sighing through his nose as he sees that the girl - my girl, he thinks - is, in fact, gone. David(fromTheMissionDistrict) echoes his heavy sigh from beside him, and Josh turns to look at him again, signing a shirt effortlessly at the same time.

The thing about David(fromTheMissionDistrict) is that he won't tell anyone his age. He's old enough to be wasted half the time, at least, but that's all Josh knows. Honestly, Josh might not be surprised if David(fromTheMissionDistrict) is actually older than Matt. The Mission District's drummer confessed the other day that he's 26, and he looks about 16. So really, Josh doesn't know.

All he knows is that it's hot in the venue, he's wearing a fucking dress, and unless a miracle happens, and that girl he spotted comes back, Josh will be left to his own devices yet again that night, in terms of sex, and all that.

It's a sad, sad fact that while Matt practically fights off underage girls, Josh struggles just to get any action.

"Hey, dude," David(fromTheMissionDistrict) says suddenly, and his tone is bright enough for Josh to swing his head almost instantly. "Hey, dude, some chick's totally checking you out. Like, over there."

Josh scans the crowd eagerly, trying his hardest not to let his extreme exaltation show on his face. Because, if it's, like, her, Josh might actually get some tonight, and that would be totally, totally fantastic for his morale (and, subsequently, everyone else's on tour).

And, miracle of all miracles, it's her.

"Fuck," Josh whispers, before he turns to David(fromTheMissionDistrict), grins, and says, "Dude, go find me Ian."

"Hey, man, I wanna -"

"Go get him, or so help me, David, I will turn your band out on their asses."

David(fromTheMissionDistrict) glares, flips Josh the finger, and storms off. Josh feels bad for a collective ten seconds, before he remembers that David(fromTheMissionDistrict) is kind of a douche, and regardless of the niceness of the rest of his band, he kind of deserves to be slapped around a little (emotionally, anyways).

Plus, okay, Josh is really horny, alright?

Ian is at the table in ten seconds flat, the worried expression he constantly wears perfectly in place. "Matt is going to get us sued!" he exclaims, arms waving wildly around his fro, and Josh stares for all of two seconds before he shoves a pen in Ian's hand, pushes him down in a chair, and grins.

"Ian Casselman, ladies and gentlemen!" he shouts to the waiting crowd of people. "Ian here is dying to answer all the crazy questions you have about Marianas Trench. He especially likes talking about his sex life - or, should I say, lack thereof!"

"Fuck you," Ian says, eyes wide, and Josh cackles and slaps Ian affectionately on the cheek.

"Have fun, Ian!"

Ian is bright red by the time Josh turns around, but Josh is otherwise preoccupied, trying to figure out how he's going to get out of the fucking dress he's wearing.

The solution comes to Josh instantly as he turns a corner backstage and almost runs into Matt, who is, apparently, trying really hard to get into that (possibly?) underage girl's pants. Josh stares at Matt, who's practically got the poor girl (Christmas? Josh thinks. Mistletoe?) pinned to the wall. And then, it just comes to him.

"I'm kinda busy, Josh," Matt says, tone pissed, and a slow smile spreads across Josh's face.

"Matt, I need you to take off your pants."

"Oh my god," the girl moans (and not in a good way). "I am so not old enough for this." And with that rather revealing statement, the girl is pushing Matt off her, running her hands through her hair, and practically sprinting down the long hallway that leads back to to the common area.

The expression on Matt's face clearly demonstrates how ready to kill he is. Josh is almost a little afraid. Except for the part where he's not and he really needs Matt's pants.

"Your pants," Josh says. Matt glares. Josh sighs, before he adds, "She was too young for you anyways."

"She never said how old she was, and I wasn't about to ask for ID, so yes, maybe she was too young, but it's not like -"

Josh sighs, looks heavenward and thanks the dear Lord for the patience he has bestowed him with, and then steps forward and yanks on Matt's pants.

"Get them off, I need out of this dress!"

"Jesus, Josh, I am not giving you my pants!"

Josh ends up basically tackling Matt, pinning his shoulders to the wall so he can yank on Matt's belt (all while Matt squirms and tries to bite Josh and screams what Josh feels are needless protests of "rape" and "abuse" and "Josh get the fuck off me now"). It's only when he succeeds in threading out the belt that Josh turns around to find the girl he was staring at before - the girl - staring at them with wide eyes.

"It's not what you think," Josh says. "I was just."

Josh mentally steps back and examines the situation. He's dressed as a woman, itchy wig and makeup and all, and he has a red-faced and moaning (from pain, but she doesn't know that) Matt pinned to a wall. Also, Matt's belt is in Josh's hand, and Matt's pants are slowly sliding off him and towards the ground. Also, Matt may or may not have bit Josh's neck in an attempt to get him to fuck off while Josh was tugging at aforementioned belt. So.

Pretty much.

"It's okay," the girl says, and her face is almost red enough to rival Matt's. "It's okay. Some guy told me you'd be back here, and I just, wanted to talk to you, I guess. But you're, uh. Busy. So. I'll be going."

Josh allows his head to thump forward against Matt's shoulder as the girl walks away, and, hey, that probably doesn't help the situation much, but Josh is tired and pissy. He wants to talk to that girl, he really does, and now he's ruined his own chances by demanding that Matt give him his clothes.

Matt pats Josh's back awkwardly as she leaves. "Sucks, man," he says, and he almost sounds sympathetic.

Josh sighs and nods, before he pulls back a little and takes a breath. He knows he doesn't know that girl, and he knows she's just a random stranger, but he kinda maybe thought. Maybe.

Josh leaves pretty quickly, as dejected and lonely as Matt's pants, alone on the ground (good metaphor, he thinks, before his brain returns to sadness once again), and it's only once he gets outside to take a breather that he can see the girl. She's standing under a tree, obviously waiting for a ride, and Josh's heart swells about two sizes.

He doesn't even think, just crosses the grass separating them, grabs her hand to turn her around, and kisses her.

"Um," is the first thing she says when she pulls back a second later. Josh pulls back too, and shifts awkwardly from side to side while he thinks of things to say to her.

"I'm not gay," is the best his brain can supply him with, horrifyingly, and she nods quickly, like she's just going along with what he's saying.

"You're not gay," she says.

"No," Josh supplies. "And if I was, I wouldn't be gay for Matt. Not that I, you know, think about who'd I'd be gay for. I'm straight, really. Don't let the, uh, makeup fool you. I'm so straight I'm practically a geometric concept."

The girl snorts, and Josh relaxes, suddenly secure in his manhood. Sort of. He's still in a dress and a wig and all, but now at least he knows for sure that the beautiful girl he's kinda sorta been stalking all night is sure of Josh's sexuality.

"So," she says. Her lips are red, from the cold, probably. Or possibly from Josh's lipstick. Which is, wow. Um.

"I'd like to take you out," Josh says then, out of nowhere. "I really would. If you're interested."

She grins and blushes a little. "Will you be wearing a dress?" she asks, and Josh's manliness dies a little inside.

"No," he says, finally. "No dress. Also, no makeup. Or wig. Though I should warn you, my hair is blue."

"Blue is fine," she chuckles, before she glances behind Josh, lowers her voice, and mumbles, "That Matt guy doesn't have to come with us, does he?"

"No," Josh laughs, grinning and shaking his head. "No Matt."

"Good," she says, and she leans forward to kiss him again.

So Josh is a man in a dress. But he is also a man in a dress who has just kissed a beautiful girl and has maybe possibly gotten her number and a promise of a date. So. Josh is pretty happy, all things considered.

Until he gets back inside to find that Matt's pants are not the only pair on the floor (and neither he nor Josh's lovely guitar tech are anywhere to be found), Ian is trapped in a corner by a crowd of at least twenty preteen girls, Mike is pissing himself laughing at Ian from a distant wall, and David(fromTheMissionDistrict) is making out with Matt's underage girl against the stage.

Josh stares.

And then he grabs Matt's pants, steals Ian's hoodie from where some pervy little girl had thrown it after she took it off him, and goes backstage so he can finally get out of the fucking dress.

Pretty good, all things considered.
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